Another Douchebag Xtra

Another Douchebag video from a contributor.

I want to play No Limit Hold em! I want to play No Limit Hold Em!

Oh, great news for you Chad Burns video fans. The producer/director for Pouncing Monkey Productions has created another gem. Apparently, and this is funny...a guy from Houston called me to tell me Chad was at a house game last week, and this regular named Jerry walks in...sees Chad sitting there, and starts throwing his arms in the air and shouting..."I want to play No Limit Hold em! I want to play No Limit Hold Em!" Everyone in the room started howling, Chad buried his face in shame...and well, I laughed til my eyes watered when this guy told me that story.

So...without further ado, I give you the latest epic masterpiece. Please enjoy.

Poker Douchebag Xtra

Douchebag Wants To No Limit Hold Em
by: harryb

The Poker Douchebag vs The Poker Monkey

Finally...The Poker Monkey has issued a challenge to The Poker Douche, aka, Troll Face. Which...as he did the last time, he ignored. Here is a guy who likes to challenge everyone to 'come to Houston and find me...so I can fuck you up you pussy.' Yes...he issued this threat/challenge to no fewer than 7 people now on my Facebook wall. He has also taken to calling women friends of mine...some in their 20's, some in their 30's, some even in their 50' and 60's...he draws no line...some wonderful names, including that special one no one with any class ever utters to a lady. Yeah...that one that starts with 'C.' Oh...this guy is a real GEM!

Poser Douche

(Douche Rating - 9.2)

So yeah...anyway, The Poker Monkey offered to meet him, at a gym that features a boxing ring...for a 'Fight for Charity.' The Monkey would give him half the gate to give to his 'Cause' which I'm sure we can all figure out where that would end up.

The Monkeys half would probably be split up between a few different causes. One being this kid Jarred Lucius, who I found out had his surgery, it was successful, and he is currently recovering. Now he just needs to pay all his bills and find some money to survive on for the next three months. I would also make another donation to the Red Cross.

So does anyone think the douchebag accepted my offer? The Monkey was going to sell tickets for $20. The event would be in either Biloxi, Shreveport, or New Orleans sometime in the next three months...and while I am in horrendous shape right now (compared to earlier times in my life) I still think I have enough in the tank to entertain the crowd with at least 4 rounds of Douche Bag beatdown...unless of course the Monkey was to drop him earlier than that! Nope...no word back from his 'Royal Orangeness.'

So...the Monkey will all just sit and be continuously amused by the Douche and his 'tough guy from behind the computer' act. Someone has shared the ONE place that still allows him to play in Houston...and that he plays there every Friday night almost. The desire to just show up there one Friday night? Verrrrrrry tempting. Very!

Douche Musings

Listen man, attacking this stupid mother named Poker Monkey is simply a waste of time...he's the lowest form of human life that I've ever come across...this idiot is 44 years old but acts as if he is 12!

Auto Douche
(Douche Rating = 7)

So fucking sad and i can only hope that he follows your advice and blows his fucking brains out!! I will literally celebrate the death of this moron when he leaves this planet...he doesn't deserve to breathe the same air that you and i do! I have no more time to spend talking about this dumbass, I've got money to make on this beautiful Monday morning...take care bro. Chad

Spotting Douchebags

Pose A Douch

Guido Douche
(Douch Rating - 7.7)

Chedder Douche
(Douche Rating - 8.5)

Poker Douche

(Douche Rating - 8.8)

DoucheBag Anthem

A tribute to douchebags!

Are You A Douchbag?

The Douche by Human Planet

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Douchebag Syndrome Causes, Symptoms, And Treatment

Millions of men worldwide have been infected with douchebag syndrome. Let this page serve as your wealth of knowledge about douchebag syndrome, because while there is a lot of information about this disease, cures are sparse. Often times, people end up resorting to violence when desperately trying to cure douchebag syndrome, which isn’t the necessary solution at all. You must treat douchebags with care, for their emotions are fragile; like that of a little boy naturally born a tranny who can’t decide which gender to classify himself under.

Where and how did douchebag syndrome originate?
Just like the HIV/AIDS virus, there isn’t a definite answer as to where and how douchebag syndrome originated, but there are a lot of conspiracy theories. Some claim that guidos are responsible for the spread of this disease, others claim that eurotrash is what started all of this; some even believe that Al Gore went into the internets, had sex with manbearpig, and a douchebag was born. Regardless of the many theories, this disease is out there; we must deal with it no matter where and how it originated.


Who’s at risk:

• All males are at risk, but studies have shown that males have the highest risk of developing douchebag syndrome during high school and college.
• Males that are easily influenced by others
• Insecure males that feel like they have something to prove
• Males living in New Jersey, New York, the dreaded Long Island, or California.
• Weak-hearted males who have a low self-worth; these are the males that end up being one of many douchebags in a group of ‘bags because they can’t stand on their own two feet by themselves.

Causes:

• Guidoism
• Eurotrash
• Zoolander (awesome movie)
• Other douchebags
• Bad parenting

Early symptoms of douchebag syndrome:

• Excessive swearing and use of words like bro and broskie
• Excessive use of the word ladies 
• Excessive use of bad cologne
• Trying way too hard
• Pouty lips
• Insecurity deep down inside
• Excessive use of wifebeaters, tight t-shirts, and lame Euro fashion.
• Acting tough and trying too hard only when other douchebags are around
• Wearing eye liner and makeup while acting tough simultaneously; the two don’t mix.
• Calling females that don’t want to hook up with them sluts, skanks, and whores.

Late symptoms of douchebag syndrome:

• Douchebag may become flammable from excessive use of bad cologne
• Oompa-Loompa tans
• Steroid and HGH use
• Tribal tattoos
• THAT guy
• Gender confusion

Stages of Douchebag Syndrome
Early Stages of Douchebag Syndrome
High school and college is almost always the starting point of douchebag syndrome in males. Douchebag syndrome in high school and college is often the starting point of this disease in males because most males are still insecure, easily influenced, and don’t know what it’s like to be men. Douchebag syndrome is most easily reversed during this stage because males are still fairly inexperienced in life and willing to take advice even though they might not show the willingness to take it.

Advanced Stages of Douchebag Syndrome
This is the stage where douchebag syndrome transforms douchebags into THAT guy. The guy that embarasses himself so badly in front of everyone that he makes everyone feel embarrassed themselves. The guy that tries to push everyone into living the same way as him because he thinks that’s the best way to live (Tom Cruise and Scientology) and doesn’t take other peoples feelings and thoughts into consideration. The guy that doesn’t keep his mouth shut when it should be shut; the guy that just doesn’t get it. It’s very hard to get rid of douchebag syndrome at this stage, mostly because douchebags are so into themselves at this point that they actually become self-brainwashed

Irreversible Stages of Douchebag Syndrome
Douchebags honored with the legendary status are the O.D’.s (like O.G.’s) of the douchebag world. These douchebags earn this status after douching it up for decades upon decades. At this point, douchebags actually start being looked at as pimps. This status is the highest honor you can get in the douchebag world, it’s like a shield against all criticism; how can you make fun of a 50+ year old man that’s hanging out with females more than half his age?

Treatment

• Look douchebags in the eyes. Almost all douchebags are big cowards who can’t look anyone in the eyes. Douchebags know that all they do is just an act; douchebags are so ridiculous that deep down inside even they can’t take themselves seriously. Looking douchebags in the eyes works because it reminds them that people know what type of person they really are and it isn’t a forceful reality check like trying to change them.
• Ignore them. Douchebags are like females with princess syndrome; they both feel like they have something to prove. The more you ignore them, the more they’ll try to impress you. After a while, douchebags will put you on a pedestal and start realizing that you’re the type of person they should be aiming to be. Ignoring them reminds them that you’re above them and reinforces their thoughts of low self-worth, douchebags then reality check themselves and aim for improvement.
• Don’t try to change them. Douchebags are insecure, the more you try to change them the more insecure they’ll get, the more insecure they get the bigger the douchebag they become; you’ll just be adding fuel to the fire. To change, douchebags have to do it themselves; you can’t push your own reality into someone else, especially that someone being a douchebag.

Final Thoughts

Looking back at everything that’s written and shown here, I think we’ve all come to the conclusion that douchebags are extremely lame and chicks dig them. Seriously, not all chicks, but the slutty princess syndrome ones that will give it up to you without a second thought do. You’ve witnessed this tragedy yourself, even the pictures in this post prove it. You’re probably thinking about how this isn’t so bad, because who wants to be with an annoying slut anyway? The truth is, more and more girls are being infected with princess syndrome everyday. At the rate we’re going, by 2012 it will be impossible to find a likable person to have a relationship with. All in all, douchebag syndrome and princess syndrome is truly a match made in heaven. Thanks to officialdatingresouce.com for sharing the content.

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